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Posted by / 02-Jan-2021 12:14

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In one famous tale, a woman came to see him on her wedding night, to complain her husband was too busy praying and hadn't come near her.

The Prophet went to see the husband, admonished him for being too engrossed in religious prayer and instructed him to, erm, pay more attention to his bride. Whilst engaged, my now husband and I attended a ‘pre-marriage’ seminar, one of the first of its kind in the UK. It wasn’t very good, but nonetheless, I was pleased that the subject was raised and the taboo broken.

But the more important point of both books is that Muslim women themselves are trying to open a discussion about sexuality, its role in their identity, and their fears and aspirations. And rejection of ‘sexual liberation’ is seen as backward.

“The men tell them to do X or Y, and they don’t know any better.” Jenny understands that her seminar is unusual, but her primary concern is that the young women receive this education, and criticism is kept at bay. “But these girls need to know their rights in the bedroom.” In the USA, controversial Muslim activist Asra Nomani has written an “Islamic Bill of Rights for Women in the Bedroom.” to ‘uphold women’s right to pleasure”.

For this reason, she asks I don’t quote her real name: “I’m sticking my neck out here.” It’s not a sex instruction class that she’ll be hosting. Nomani says she received negative feedback about the bill.

And to even begin such discussions, what is needed is a healthy dose of facing up to the fact that how Muslims live their lives is not necessarily the same as the Islamic ideals they aspire to.

A famous Islamic traditional teaching about sexual pleasure says that when God created desire, He made it into ten parts. So it’s no wonder women are leaving men behind when it comes to trying to better understand their sexuality, as well as the relationship between their sexuality and their faith.

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