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The environment you live in has a huge influence on which roles are easily accessible and which are more “engulfing”.Of course, this also depends on our own individual limitations.We need intimacy, sex, excitement, we need our sexuality and attractiveness to be highlighted – and this is in the lover role.
This means that various people can perform them, and that they can be shared.
If somebody identifies with only one of the roles they perform, they may reject or marginalize characteristics and behaviors which don’t belong to that role.
For example – if a woman is very focused on the role of wife, on ensuring stability in her relationship with her husband, taking care of the house, etc., then she is less able to focus on her relationships with her children, for example, or on the role of lover or friend.
This means that we need protectiveness and caring, and this is in the mother or father role.
We needs partnership and mutual support, and this is in the role of a spouse.
An interview with Joanna Dulińska, psychologist, psychotherapist and supervisor at the Process Oriented Psychology Institute (Instytut Psychologii Procesu).