Women and trans dating
Let’s be clear: We all have legitimate preferences in the bodies we connect with — I myself favour larger men (sorry, you guys under 180cm and 90kg! But when you reject a woman who , one has to wonder what’s really going on here.
When it comes to rejecting someone like me—someone whose appearance, function, and manner are indistinguishable from those of a cisgender woman—just because I have a trans history, the reasons must be intangible.
Low expectations mean high excitement at small success.
This isn’t in reference to any particular difficulty facing trans women, though there are many; it is always helpful to lower your expectations. Ok Cupid, Match, or Tinder; it doesn’t really matter where, but you’ll need one.
Use lines like “Of course I’m a biological woman, and not a cyber woman… Find ways to forgive them in your heart for being such shitheels. You may want to high-five the women who are still attracted to you, regardless of what you discuss.
Practice explaining why “biological woman” is ridiculous. Practice your smile and, “Ok, that’s fine, I had fun,” response to “I can’t sleep with you now,” or “I’m just not attracted to [your genitals],” or “I’m a gold star lesbian, I can’t sleep with you.” You may also hear, “you’re so brave.” 12. Bask in the glow of reciprocal attraction when it does occur – it may be rare.
Google ‘Trans 101’.)As I said, this date-debate is almost always about cis dudes, and specifically about their sexual insecurity.
OMG, if they accidently touched a man, or even a ‘man’…ewww — cooties!!
Get used to a mix of pop hits, Shakira, and Bikini Kill.
Ask a few close friends, “would you theoretically date me based on this profile?
Without them, you will end up posting a photo with kale in your teeth, or where there is clearly a dog using the restroom in the background. Attend events specifically targeted towards lesbians like you.
But this has nothing to do with being trans, and really nothing to do with this issue (which again, at its base, is just men being creeped-out by the idea of trans women).
Dishonesty about important stuff is so ubiquitous in relationships that there is hardly a one that escapes its ugly face.
Many if not most cis people would prefer that we went away.